Picture of a woman's round neck tee with a picture of a retro van and night sky. The slogan says " Show me the candy first, I'm not stupid. Then I'll Get In The Van".
Woman wearing a shirt that has a retro design on it and it says show me the candy first then i get in the van, i am not stupid. The t-shirt is round neck woman's tee.

Show Me The Candy [Women’s Round Neck]

$40.00 GST Included

Shop the “Show Me the Candy First” women’s round nexk tee. Hilarious, cheeky, 100% cotton shirt built for sarcasm, side-eyes, and street-smart legends.

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Description

Not all heroes wear capes; some just demand to see the candy first. This tee is for the smart-arse in every friendship group, the one who knows the hustle, spots the trap, and still manages to make everyone piss themselves laughing.

Crafted from 100% cotton goodness (150 g/m²), it’s comfy enough to lounge in, bold enough to wear to the pub, and sturdy enough to survive awkward family dinners where Nan asks what your shirt means (good luck with that one).

This isn’t just a shirt, it’s a statement. Street smarts, but make it fashion.

Additional information

Weight0.130 kg
Size

XS, S, M, L, XL

Our Dirty Little Green Secrets

Look, we’re not here to greenwash you with corporate fairy tales, we actually give a sh*t.

Our gear is 100% cotton whenever possible because polyester is basically plastic cosplay, and we’re not into dressing you up like a landfill. Yeah, some blended colours sneak in a bit of poly but trust us, we side-eye it harder than your aunty at Christmas lunch.

Every order shows up in a compostable Eco-Mailer chuck it in your compost and watch it become worm food instead of choking a dolphin. That’s the right way to package your chaos, naturally.

Our manufacturing? Ethical, lawful, and not powered by child labour (imagine!). Workers get treated like actual humans, water gets filtered, energy gets saved, and leftover fabric gets recycled instead of joining your ex’s dignity in the trash.

And because we hate waste almost as much as we hate beige t-shirts: any damaged or misprinted shirts get donated to charity. Someone out there is rocking your would’ve-been return and honestly, they’re probably pulling it off better than you.

So yeah, buy our shirts. They’ll outlive your hangovers, your bad decisions, and maybe even capitalism if we’re lucky.

How to Not Murder Your Tee

Wash cold (inside-out, ya heathen) on a gentle cycle with mild detergent. Chuck it in with similar colours this ain’t a rainbow factory.

No bleach unless you’re into accidental tie-dye. And for the love of fashion, keep the fabric softener away it’s the enemy.

In the dryer on low if you must, but if you want this shirt to live a long and glorious life, hang it up like the shrine it is.

Iron cool, inside-out if you’re one of those people. But don’t even think about ironing over the design unless you want a melted mess.

Dry cleaning? Absolutely not. This tee doesn’t do posh.

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