White unisex t-shirt with a slogan that says "Calm ya effing tits"
Calm Ya Effing Tits [Unisex] - Image 2

Calm Ya Effing Tits [Unisex]

$35.00 GST Included

Some situations require diplomacy. Some require breathing exercises. And some require a t-shirt that says it for you. It’s bold, it’s cheeky, and it’s the fashion equivalent of a deep breath followed by a swear word. Basically, your new favourite shirt.

SKU: G-PL89101 Category: Tags: , , , , , , , Brand:

Description

Our “Calm Ya Effing Tits” unisex t-shirt is not a suggestion. It’s a public service announcement.

Some situations require diplomacy. Some require breathing exercises. And some require a t-shirt that says it for you.

Printed bold across a crisp white cotton tee, this design is for the chronically over-it, the professionally unimpressed, and the emotionally stable enough to say what everyone else is thinking. It’s cheeky. It’s direct. It’s the verbal equivalent of lowering your sunglasses dramatically.

Made from soft, breathable cotton, this unisex tee keeps things comfortable while your message does the heavy lifting. Lightweight enough for daily wear, structured enough to survive side-eyes from strangers.

Wear it to brunch.
Wear it to family gatherings.
Wear it to meetings that should’ve been emails (If ya brave enough to be HR’d)

White only, because chaos deserves contrast.

This isn’t aggression.
It’s emotional regulation… but fashion.

Gobsmack’d: Less whispering. More declaring.

Product Features

  • 100% cotton
  • Soft, breathable everyday comfort
  • Classic unisex fit
  • Crisp, high-quality print on white fabric
  • Built for durability and maximum eye contact

Additional information

Weight0.260 kg
SIZE

2XS, XS, S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL, 5XL, 6/7XL, 8/9XL, 10/11XL, 12/13XL

COLOUR

WHITE, BLACK

HOW TO NOT MURDER YOUR TEE

Wash cold (inside out, ya heathen) on a gentle cycle with mild detergent. Chuck it in with similar colours, this ain’t a rainbow factory.

No bleach unless you’re into accidental tie-dye. And for the love of fashion, keep the fabric softener away, it’s the enemy.

Dry low if you must, but if you want this shirt to live a long and glorious life, hang it up like the shrine it is.

Iron cool, inside out if you’re one of those people. But don’t even think about ironing over the design unless you want a melted mess.

Dry cleaning? Absolutely not. This tee doesn’t do posh.

OUR DIRTY LITTLE GREEN SECRETS

Look, we’re not here to greenwash you with corporate fairy tales, we actually give a sh*t.

Our gear is 100% cotton whenever possible because polyester is basically plastic cosplay, and we’re not into dressing you up like a landfill. Yeah, some blended colours sneak in a bit of poly, but trust us, we side-eye it harder than your aunty at Christmas lunch.

Every order shows up in a compostable eco-mailer bag or cardboard box, so chuck it in your compost and watch it become worm food instead of choking a dolphin. That’s the right way to package your chaos, naturally.

Our manufacturing? Ethical, lawful, and not powered by child labour (imagine!). Workers get treated like actual humans, water gets filtered, energy gets saved, and leftover fabric gets recycled instead of joining your ex’s dignity in the trash.

And because we hate waste almost as much as we hate beige t-shirts, any damaged or misprinted shirts get donated to charity. Someone out there is rocking your 'would’ve-been' return, and honestly, they’re probably pulling it off better than you.

So yeah, buy our shirts. They’ll outlive your hangovers, your bad decisions, and maybe even capitalism if we’re lucky.

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